Ten Terrible Reasons to Get Married

  1. It’s handy to have a husband. Who else is going to assemble the furniture, open jars, carry heavy stuff, empty the trash, fix my computer… all those things I am literally unable to do. The list of a husband’s possible uses is too long for this blog.
  2. To get a new name. No, wait, not in my case. My name is Cécile Meier, which is a pretty cool name. My fiancé’s last name is BUTCHER. Can I really be a vegetarian and be called Butcher? Everytime I say his name, I have this vision:Neither sexy nor glamourous. So I tried to convince Nick to take my name instead; such a thing is possible in Switzerland. Reasons for his refusing: “I’m my dad’s only son, it would break his heart to know that our name won’t go on, and your dad has 3 sons. My name wins.” Ok, but why would we want to perpetuate the name Butcher?
  3. To get a ring. I am not a cold-hearted materialistic bitch, but it is quite handy to have one when some annoying guy is hitting on me. I show the magic ring and tell the fool I’m already taken. Easy and efficient.
  4. Regular sex is healthy.
  5. I want kids, and I cannot make them on my own.
  6. It’s too hard to be single. You live alone, eat alone, pay your bills alone and so on.
  7. My husband will always be there for me to vent at when I’m frustrated about something.
  8. To appear more responsible and mature without having to work on it.
  9. My husband will have a moral obligation to give me attention, compliments, hugs, and presents all the time.
  10. When it’s cold, Nick provides natural, eco-friendly body heat for our bed. My feet are highly addicted to it.

Bonus reason: Married woman are more attractive because they are harder to get.

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4 thoughts on “Ten Terrible Reasons to Get Married

  1. Pingback: The Dream Is Not In The House « Trying to be Conscious

  2. You get used to being married to a Butcher – In english it makes it easy to tell people how to spell your name . Just say ” Butcher as in meat”
    My alternative was Manhire and that had interesting connections to. I do appreciate and value the other reasons especially the eco friendly one . Husbands work better than socks.

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