Online Dating Expert helps Lonely Guy- 2

Fishing for chicks

After setting up an attractive profile for Andrew, the next step was to fish for hot chicks. But first, I wanted to have some fun. When I read Andrew’s posts about online dating, I was disappointed he only mocked the guys’ profiles, not the girls’. So my first impulse while exploring Swissfriends was to find laughable profiles. The first one I saw displayed a photo of a pretty 30 year old blonde. So far so good. However, what she wrote on her profile made her sound dumber than, yet very similar to, Forrest Gump:

Life is like a box of chocolate, you never know what you will get. Of course, I am looking for something very special! 

I wasn’t sure whether or not I should message her so I asked Andrew:

Me: Look at the photo and the profile. Should I message her?
Andrew: Of course!
Me: You like that SHIT?
Andrew: It turns me on. It excites me sexually. Food is sex.

I sent her a message and moved on to find other risible profiles. Some photos were absolutely ludicrous. I’m a good person so I won’t copy and paste them here but the temptation is hard to resist. For example, there was this chubby blonde woman. Her profile displayed 2 photos. On the first one, she was biting a muffin. On the other, she was eating ice cream. It looked a bit like this:

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Andrew had just said food turned him on though; maybe he would like her? I sent him the photos. His reaction:

Andrew: You’re joking with that one. You’re joking and I hate you.

Me: But you said food turned you on!

Andrew: I’m going to throw up my breakfast!

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Then I found weirdos who were actively looking for a Swiss husband or mentioned God, or both at the same time. Hum. An example:

A blessed day to everyone! I am a 32 years old au pair. I’m God fearing, loving and always bearing a smile and most of all a romantic. I spend my whole sunday to church at the same time fellowshiping to my family in Christ after service. I am hoping that by God’s will I could find someone here in switzerland to become my husband. Thank you and God bless to everyone.

According to Andrew, the religious stuff comes from Nigerian scam artists. So beware if you’re into this kind of thing.

Other women displayed way too much skin. One was almost showing her breasts! Mostly, those half-naked photos were provided either by “curvy” women or by older women. It seemed like they tried to compensate for their weight or their age by showing more.

I’m afraid that showing your breasts won’t get you any more dates.

The most disturbing profiles to me were the 40 year old women who still believed and looked for Prince charming. For example:

Looking for my prince. The one I would be able to fall in love with, the one I would be able to love with all my heart for a very long time, the one who would love me as I am.

Next: First messages, first success!

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