Friday Evening Blues

Some Friday evenings, an insidious sense of hopelessness invades my brain. I fail to feel relief and happiness over the prospect of the coming week-end. Instead, all of the things I didn’t achieve the past week come slapping me in the face. I didn’t write enough, wasn’t a dedicated enough teacher to my students, didn’t go jogging 3 times, missed yoga and ate too much chocolate.

As soon as I arrive back home, the worst part of me emerges- I become depressed, tired and envious. I can’t find the energy to do anything and ultimately feel guilty for being tired. I just don’t know what to do with my time so I scroll the internet in a state of boredom bordering stupidity. I look up successful blogs and photos of beautiful people on Facebook and feel inferior even though I’m usually pretty satisfied with my life.

Then I decide I’m hungry and need half a baguette covered in Nutella to survive. On bad Fridays, I ended up crying, waiting for Nick to come home, hoping he’d have a way to help me out of my sorry state. Last time, he forced me to go on a walk with him and it helped. It’s usually good to have someone around but it’s not enough. As the brilliant French TV-show Bref puts it, life is like an elevator. When all goes well, the elevator goes up. When all goes wrong, it goes down. Depression is when you’re stuck in the basement. And when you try to call the repairman, you realise that the repairman, it’s you. In other words, to get out of my Friday evening depression, I’m the only one who can decide to get over myself.

Sometimes, the hopelessness pushes me to write because I know it’s the only thing that’ll give me this sense of accomplishment I failed to gain during the week. Those writing sessions usually result in depressing posts about dead people or bad moods. They make me feel much better though.

When I don’t find my way out of the heavy cloud, I just try not to push my head deeper in the water with guilty thoughts like: “Why are you depressed? You’ve got no reason to be!  You’ll never be happy if you can’t kick yourself out of it!” It’s generally good to try and be happy but there’s no point in fighting temporary gloom every time it comes for a visit. It’s okay to feel blue every once in a while. I believe everybody does.

The best way I found to deal with it is to just allow myself to feel down. I just accept it, turn on the TV, eat comfort food, and cry if need-be. Eventually, a catchy song plays on the radio and before I know it, I’m singing to it. I’m fine, and the nagging feeling is gone.

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32 thoughts on “Friday Evening Blues

  1. I can totally relate to this Cécile. I’m having a serious case of the Mondays today. The whole of last week was so so busy and full of interesting, fun, challenging stuff. Today is a not so fun catch up day and I am crashing. I get through these days by giving myself permission to be less than 100%. I know tomorrow I’ll feel like the usual me. Also, icecream. Lots of icecream.

    • I hope you feel better today, Rian. I’m usually better on Mondays than on Fridays but I guess we all have our little breaking down moments… The main thing is to know that you’ll get your spirits back the next day and to allow yourself to be less for a bit. Have a good Tuesday :-) xxx

  2. I feel this links to what I posted recently about being imperfect and how (apparently) it’s ok to not be completely perfect. Forgiving myself for the things I didn’t do (missed the gym, put off writing emails, etc) is also very difficult…but it doesn’t make me a terrible person. I don’t seem to have convinced myself of the fact yet, though…
    I hope your blues pass quickly next time they come around.

    • Thanks, Claire. I can see the connection with your point too. My Friday eve blues is often triggered by negative thoughts about myself rather than external circumstances. Let’s be more forgiving :-)

  3. Cecile, I think you’ve hit on a few things that help with the blues, like a walk in the park, a fun song, and just allowing the tears to flow — remember the song, “It’s Alright to Cry” from the children’s musical, “Free to be You and Me”? It goes, “It’s alright to cry. Crying gets the sad out of you.”

  4. Yes, you are quite right: everyone gets down sometimes and I do the same thing you do and add on. I pick out something i have deprived myself of and enjoy it . It’s best not to fight depression but to give in and enjoy whatever rows your boat!

    • If it’s only a temporary depressed mood, I think it’s best to give in. Of course, if it’s something more serious, help should be seeked and action taken.

      Enjoying something I’ve deprived myself of… hum good idea, even though that could rapidly lead to excess :-)

  5. Both Helen Keller and Walt Whitman have been credited with this quote: “Keep your face always toward the sunshine – and shadows will fall behind you.” And a little chocolate never hurt, either.

  6. I think there is nothing like a big burger full of vitamin B’s to pull me out of the funk. For me, It is usually hormones anyway.
    Personally, I think writing about bad stuff only brings it into the present. Who wants to relive that crap? I have found during my most stressful times, I have written humor and fiction posts. It gets my mind off myself and my worries and find myself giggling!
    I hope you have a fabulous weekend!

    • Are you ready for another happy dance. There are lots of good real wise comments above but I think a really important thing to remember is that everyone has the downs at times, some just hide it well most of the time. The going for a walk thing/ doing exercise in the fresh air is a good idea as it switches your focus and helps you look to the sun and feel successful and rejuvenated but also just remembering that is Ok to feel like crying for all sorts of reasons at times, normally when things are a bit stressful for any reason, and then breath again and go and get on with something which is positive to you and makes you feel successful to move past the sad frustrated feelings. Writing a positive blog post, baking good new exciting things, ticking off things on the list of to dos, etc. The ticking things off bit always helps me as I often feel overwhelmed by too many things in my head and when I get another one done I feel very good and happily in control of my life again. As an aside I liked the ColdPlay quote “Those who are dead are not dead, they’re just living in my head”. I like the fact I can always have a talk to them, but probably better not to
      do it out loud if other people are around.
      Now off to paint the toilet rather than being frustrated because I cannot garden .
      Hope you have a happy weekend. Hugs from me.

      • Oh thank you so much for your wise and kind words, Wendy. I know that everyone feels down at times, and I wonder if it’s the best strategy to hide it. It just makes us feel lonelier when we believe everyone else is happy all the time.
        Ticking off things to do always gives me a positive kick as well. Tidying up or cleaning the house works too. I have to try baking! The result will surely cheer me up. Or maybe I can get Nick to bake for me ;-)
        Hugs and love to you. xoxo

    • Thanks Susie, I’ll try the big burger next time :-). It’s true that writing about bad stuff makes you relive it in a way, and it doesn’t feel good while you do so. However, it’s always been fantastically therapeutic for me to write about sad times. Once the piece of writing is finished, I inevitably feel better and relieved of a big weight.

      Maybe I should try to write funny stuff when I’m depressed though, a good giggle can cure a lot!
      I hope you have a great weekend too. xo

  7. Yesterday on fb, George Takei posted this quote from Steve Furtick: “The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.”

    I’m looking up to you as a blogger, if that makes you feel better!

  8. I hope you are feeling happy today and I recommend my happy song to you should you need it: “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World. I can’t help but smile when I hear it!

  9. Salut Cécile ! Wow– this sounds exactly like me! My blog is one of the things I use to feel better and more connected to people. The radio helps because it makes me feel part of a community while working alone at home/painting. Friday evenings are pretty bad for me; I should really push myself to go out to more Friday Salsa Evenings but I end up just staying home and feeling fat! But, when I do get out and dance, I am always glad I did! I’m rarely happy with my productivity by the end of the week, and I spend WAY too much time online. Everything in moderation, I know… Thanks for putting these feelings so eloquently into words!
    Bonne weekend ~

    • Salut Grenobloise, I’m glad to know that someone else feels like shit on Friday evenings (well, I’d rather you be happy but I’m sure you understand what I mean ;-)).
      I thought about finding a dance class to take on Friday evenings. You can’t feel sad while dancing. I’m going to look that up again.
      Bon weekend!

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