She added a photo of herself looking cute and surrounded by cupcakes. I wanted her to be Andrew’s girlfriend just to eat her cupcakes! I was over-excited- again. To me, this was it, cupcake girl was the right girl for Andrew! I sent him her message and her photo on chat. I was utterly disappointed by his reaction:
Me: Third, SHE sent the first message. Look at the message, its awesome. (Copy of the message)
A: She wants my body.
Me: She does! Thanks to my awesome photo taking skills AND my awesome profile writing skills (I have to give myself compliments because Andrew won’t)
A: I’m worried she isn’t that cute though.
Me: What? She looks cute on the photo!
A: Really? REALLY?
Me: And she seems to have a good personality.
A.: Meh, I’m afraid she’s a bit fat.
Me: Pffff, Androo. I’m very disappointed in you. Only looks matter to you. No wonder why you’re single.
A.: Cecile. I am one of the hottest single guys in the whole world.
Me: You’re one of the most obnoxious, annoying, pretentious single guys on the planet, you mean? I find you the perfect girl and all you do is complain that she is not hot enough?!
A.: I like her message. But she put loads of effort into writing it because I’m the hottest guy she could ever hope to meet.
Me: I showed her photo to Nick; he thought she was cute. I think she is cute. I’m sure everybody except Mister PICKY would agree she is cute.
A: Maybe she’s cute in real life.
Me: She is certainly not ugly. She did not mention her weight on the profile and selected “curvy” to describe herself though.
A.: Curvy = FAT
Me: She doesnt look too fat on the photo, I dont think.
A: She does. you can see that she extends out on those lines, like a huge triangle.
Me: A girl with curves is better.
A.: Oh really? Why don’t you gain a few kilos to be more curvy then if it is so great?!
Me: I don’t think you really want a girlfriend.
A: My plan is to meet her and make friends with her so that you can have another friend.
Me: I’m considering giving up. You’re too dicky.
A: I want to meet this girl, so what’s your plan?
Me: Ok, help me write a message to her. I thought I’d begin like that:
Wow, your cupcakes look delicious! You made that?
A: !!! Are you teasing me now? Like I’d write that.
Me: No. What would you write, smart ass?
A.: We should meet, and waddle down the Niederdorf on your massive feet.
Then I could write this:
Actually I never went to the Zoo in Zürich but I’d love to go!
A.: I don’t think that’s a good idea. I want to meet her for coffee, not at the zoo because if it’s lame I can’t leave, then.
Me: Well, even if she’s lame, you’d still benefit from the zoo though.
A.: No! No zoo on a date. God! A cafe! That’s the first meeting. To convince her to come, you can write this:
“Don’t worry, they have snacks, so you can keep your blood sugar abnormally high at all times”
At that point I decided to ignore him and wrote the following message by myself:
Wow, your cupcakes look delicious! I liked your message: we have so much in common already. We should meet. I’d like to make fun of your Scottish accent.